


Start Your Life Anew

by A_M_Kelley



Series: S.U.R.V.I.V.E. [1]
Category: Saw (Movies)
Genre: Character Death Reference(s), First Meetings, Friendship, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, POV Alternating, Parent Death, References to Drugs, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-16
Updated: 2012-04-16
Packaged: 2017-11-03 18:43:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/384614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_M_Kelley/pseuds/A_M_Kelley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brent finds serenity at Bobby Dagen's support groups. People listen, people care, and no one is selfish. These people cherish every moment. They are all equal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Start Your Life Anew

**Author's Note:**

> Set before the events of SAW 7. Bobby Dagen hasn't been tested yet.  
> Timeline is a little sketchy.  
> Some things are taken from the SAW movies and some are made up.  
> 

Brent finds serenity at Bobby Dagen's support groups. People listen, people care, and no one is selfish. These people cherish every moment. They are all equal. Blessed.

At first, Brent had been hesitant to come here. He didn't think of himself as lost or alone. His mother, Tara, had insisted he come at least once. But once turned out to be several. He found himself rapt by these stories people told. What they had to do in order to deem themselves worthy of their life.

And Brent's dark eyes scanned the circle. Men and women who took their lives for granted; did bad things to themselves and to others. But Brent felt out of place. He didn't deserve to be here. He didn't do anything wrong and he wasn't mutilated like some of these people. All he did was make the choice his mother couldn't. Maybe THAT was what made him like the rest of these people.

Every so often Tara would reach over to squeeze Brent's knee, giving a weak smile. He could see the tears building up in her eyes. He couldn't cry anymore or, rather, couldn't find anything to cry about. It didn't seem to stop his mother though or anyone else here. Brent felt that maybe he was at the stage Bobby was at. Perhaps he'd found clarity and strength. But...

Bobby Dagen was calm and collected. He'd let people talk if they wanted to and if someone wasn't ready for that, he wouldn't pressure them. He let them move at their own pace, which is why Brent had yet to tell his story. Although it was very similar to Tara's, it was somehow different. His mother hadn't made the decision therefore, their feelings and train of thought, at the time, were two completely different things.

But for now, Brent thought, for now he'd let the others speak.

"I used to be a heroin addict," this guy named Mallick said. His eyes looked far away and his face contorted into regret. "I hurt people just to sate my habit. Jigsaw... He..." Mallick choked on his words.

Bobby sat next to Mallick, a reassuring hand circling on his back. "It's alright, take your time," Bobby said,"We're all vulnerable, but we're not alone."

You had to admit, the man was smooth. His optimism far exceeded anyone else here. That's what made him such a good leader, thought Brent. His selfless encouragements pushing people to better themselves. Brent respected him.

"He helped me help myself. And I feel better for it." Mallick forced a smile. "I'm very fortunate that my arm is still functional. After... My test." His slightly crippled arm was held in a sling and his smile wavered for a moment, but he regained his composure. "I've been sober ever since. Almost four months now."

And everyone clapped and smiled and praised Mallick for his courage. This is what accomplishment must feel like. Brent clapped with everyone else. Mallick deserved it.

As they went around the room, the nervous faces and half choked stories became more confident. Everyone here wasn't perfect and they had finally realized that enough to let go. Some people spoke and some remained silent, just listening.

"I used to contemplate suicide," a twenty-something woman said. "I was unhappy about my life. I lost my job, my home, even my kids. My parents wouldn't take me in because of my alcoholism. Jigsaw gave me a choice: Either walk through a maze of sharp hazards with weights on my ankles or wait to die from the poison in my own veins."

Sympathetic eyes watched as she gushed out her story. Some faces shocked, appalled even, but supportive all the same. Brent frowned for her. Not knowing what to think of her story or anyone else's for that matter.

"I attempted suicide once and failed, but did my test and succeeded." And she sighed a breath of relief. As if a huge weight had lifted off her chest. It was possibly one of the greatest moments of her life and she just gave the biggest tear-filled smile, she beamed across the whole room.

And every so often a blonde man would come over to Bobby's side and whisper things in his ear. Bobby would nod at whatever was said and Brent scrunched his eyebrows. This was something that Brent didn't understand. It seemed a little secretive and almost intimate. He left Bobby to go and stand by Joyce, Bobby's wife.

Brent could feel eyes on him. He swallowed and dared to dart his dark eyes around the circle. His gaze stopped on a boy he figured was around his age. His eyes were blue and his hair was dirty blonde. He smiled at Brent warmly, well, as warmly as he could in this atmosphere. The name tag on his shirt read "Daniel". Daniel was cute, Brent observed, so he smiled back.

For a far off moment Brent wondered what test Daniel had to do. Definately nothing mutilating, from what Brent could tell, but maybe he had a scar or two. Like Bobby Dagen. Brent shook his mind a little after a shiver trailed up his spine. He broke eye contact with Daniel and looked to his mother. She was crying. Simply heart broken over someone's tragic story, but Brent didn't listen to half of it.

Daniel was still staring at him. Not once did he take his eyes off Brent. Even when Brent looked away, he still grinned at him. Perhaps these people weren't alone after all.

*****************

After the support group was over, many people walked up to Bobby with kind words and warm hugs. Brent watched as his mother did the same. He stood back, away from the circle and out of everyone else's way as they shuffled all around. Daniel caught Brent's eye and stalked over towards him. Brent froze when he saw the boy's form stop in front of him. That smile inching across his face again.

"Some stories, huh?" Daniel asked.

"Yeah," Brent said solemnly. "Terrible."

Brent watched Daniel consider the word and nod his head.

"Depending on how you look at it," Daniel remarked. "I'm Daniel."

Brent took the outstretched hand and grasped it softly. "Brent."

Their hands reluctantly drifted apart and they stood in silence for a moment. Brent would catch Daniel's gaze and look away when they stared for too long or when Mallick accidently bumped into him. Over Daniel's shoulder he could see his mom walking towards them. Daniel saw his eyes drift past him and turned around.

"Are you ready to go?" Tara asked.

Daniel looked hopefully at Brent and Brent turned to his mother. "I think I'll walk home."

Tara looked at Daniel and back to Brent. She smiled wearily at them both, but nodded. She leant forward and kissed Brent on the cheek. Brent blushed.

"Be home for dinner," Tara sighed. She turned around and walked to leave him with Daniel.

Brent motioned for Daniel to follow him out of the Health Center and out into the afternoon air. Daniel inhaled and sighed contently, the warm sun beating down on him and Brent. Brent held his head toward the sky, stretching. Being in that atmosphere frequently tended to make Brent stiff.

Daniel turned his head sideways to watch Brent with twinkling eyes. "You didn't have to ditch your mom for me," he blushed.

"It's not everyday you meet someone your age with the same problem," Brent assured. He saw Daniel blushing and chuckled. "I've never seen you here before," Brent said after awhile.

"Yeah, well, never felt I needed to be here, you know? Like my deal wasn't bad enough." Daniel snapped his eyes up quickly to see Brent's reaction. "I don't mean to make it sound like a contest or anything, I just..." He paused, feeling like he was saying everything wrong.

"Felt like other's had it way worse than you?" Brent finished for him. "Like they deserve the attention more?"

"Exactly," Daniel said out of breath.

They had just met and already they were on the same page, already hitting it off. Daniel caught the gleam of a white toothed smile. He stared at Brent, taking in his appearance. Dark hair, dark eyes, even slightly tanned skin. His lips were pouty and full, a mole right next to his left eyebrow. Brent was handsome.

"I felt the same way. My mom made me come with her. She said it would do me some good to let go." Brent took a few steps toward the sidewalk and Daniel followed beside him.

They both walked side by side down the street Daniel thinking of his words. He didn't understand. Was Brent there for his test or his mother's? Or was it both of their's?

"Let go?" Daniel inquired. "Of what?"

Brent made a 'are you serious?' face and scrunched his eyebrows. He searched Daniel's blue eyes. "Well, you know..." Brent trailed off, hoping Daniel wouldn't press the issue any further.

"Sorry. I wasn't sure if you were there for your mom or... You. Or both," Daniel added quickly.

"It's alright," Brent shrugged. "She was right though. I do have to let go."

"Start your life anew, right?" Daniel chuckled nervously, quoting from Bobby Dagen's book.

"You actually read that?"

"Of course," Daniel gushed.

Brent saw Daniel's face lit up at the mention of Bobby's book. Daniel read it at least twice and high lighted key points throughout the pages. You could say Daniel was obsessed with Bobby's advice and it didn't hurt that Daniel secretly thought he was attractive.

"He has good advice," Daniel clarified. "This one chapter he talks about commitment and valuing your loved ones. I can follow that chapter pretty closely," Daniel sighed.

Brent could hear the sadness in his voice. He obviously must have lost someone he loved. Brent could identify with that too. He wondered who Daniel lost. They stopped at a crosswalk and looked at eachother curiously. They just started walking without deciding an ending destination. Daniel blushed at his eagerness to talk to Brent without thinking things through. Brent bit the inside of his cheek and wondered if they were supposed to part ways now. Surely he'd see him at another support group, but Brent didn't want to leave just yet. He felt a connection and he needed a friend, especially after losing his father and indirectly murdering the man responsible.

The walking person icon popped up and now was the time to make a decision. Daniel stared hopeful at Brent and Brent licked his lips.

"Do you wanna come over?" Brent asked, taking a step closer to Daniel. His face heated up with anticipation.

Daniel smiled quaintly and nodded his head. "Sure."

And they crossed the street together. Brent leading the way to his house with Daniel in tow. It was a chance meeting. Brent thought that he'd spend an eternity listening to people's stories and never contributing his own, but maybe this was a start. Maybe he just needed someone like Daniel to trust first. Perhaps Bobby's and his mother's words were right.

He needed to let go and start his new life, but he wouldn't be alone because he now had Daniel. Someone equally hurt and lost. And although they hadn't discussed their own demons aloud yet, Brent couldn't help but feel a little optimistic for once. He had a good feeling about this.

***************

"Well, this is my room," Brent said. Although it seemed pretty obvious it was his room. After all, there was a twin sized bed and dirty underwear lying all around the room.

Brent's mom must've been at the store, picking some things up because she wasn't home. They were all alone.

Brent noticed this and blushed, saying sorry as he went to the ground to pick up all his underwear, as if trying to hide it from his crush. Daniel watched Brent move around the room hastily discarding his dirty laundry into a random drawer.

"Sorry," Brent blushed with his head down. "Don't get much company."

"It's alright," Daniel chuckled. "You should see my room."

A shiver ran up Brent's spine, even though it wasn't meant in the way his mind distorted it. Brent walked over and sat on his bed. He moved his bunched up blankets out of the way and motioned for Daniel to sit down. Daniel came over and sat on beside Brent. They were silent now and they were close. Daniel looked around and took in Brent's atmosphere.

He seemed to be a fan of alternative rock and he had some abstract drawings strung around the room. Daniel spotted a picture on the nightstand. It was Brent, his mom, and a man. Probably his father.

"Who's that?" Daniel asked as he pointed to the picture. Brent looked over and frowned.

"Oh. That's my dad," Brent mumbled as he reached for the framed picture. He grabbed it and brought it over. Brent handed it over to Daniel so he could get a good look.

"You guys look happy." Daniel's eyes flicked over the trio and smiled. "Where's he now?"

"He's gone," Brent frowned.

Daniel looked up at Brent. Judging by the frown, Daniel figured that Brent must've lost his father. He gave Brent the picture and hesitantly placed his hand on Brent's shoulder. Brent froze and stared Daniel in the eyes.

"I lost my father too," he sympathized.

The hand tighten slightly and Brent licked his lips. Brent wanted to cry, scream, anything. But he couldn't just break down in front of a stranger. He felt bad for Daniel and his loss and he thought it was a coincidence that he too lost his father. They stared at eachother. Not knowing what to say.

Daniel's hand loosened and slid down Brent's bicep and down his exposed forearm. The contact was almost intimate and Brent thought he saw hesitation in Daniel's blue eyes. They were somehow closer now, knee to knee and Brent could smell the scent of faint strawberries.

Brent leaned forward and put his forehead against Daniel's and Daniel sighed shakily. His heart was thumping in his chest and all he could see were Brent's dark eyes staring back at him. If one of them decided to move a little closer, they'd be kissing.

"I'm glad I met someone like me," Daniel whispered. His breath ghosted over Brent's lips.

"You're like me?" Brent asked.

"I lost my dad, you lost your's. You're lonely." The word 'lonely' seemed to echo in Brent's head and he held his breath in anticipation. "We both want someone to lean on. To hold us when we cry." Daniel's voice was cracking.

"Do you need to be held?" The words came out before Brent could stop them and he felt Daniel nod.

Brent wrapped his arms around Daniel warmly and Daniel clutched to him. Brent never held anyone like this before, he's hugged people, but nothing ever this intimate. Daniel was crying against his shoulder and Brent wondered how he ended up with this boy crying in his arms.

"Are you okay?" Brent asked as he soothed a tentative hand through Daniel's hair.

"Yeah," Daniel sniffled. "m'sorry, Brent. I don't mean to--"

"No! No, it's fine. Everything's alright," Brent assured.

"I just miss my dad so much."

Daniel was opening up to Brent, someone he just met, and he was clinging tightly as if not wanting to let go. He buried his face into the side of Daniel's head and breathed in deeply. His left hand went down Daniel's back and rested just above his butt. His right hand was at the back of Daniel's head and it gripped lightly at his hair.

Daniel looked up to meet Brent's eyes. He brought a hand up to cup the side of Brent's face and he inched forward. And when Brent was about to cave and move in to meet Daniel, his mother came home.

"Brent? Are you home, sweetie?" Tara called out.

Brent sighed and closed his eyes. Daniel's hand left his face and they disentangled before Tara could see them. Daniel wiped away his tears and straightened himself out. Tara opened up the door to Brent's room and paused when she saw Daniel sitting next to Brent.

"Oh," she said a little suprised. "I didn't know we were entertaining." Tara laughed a little and looked Daniel over.

"Is it okay if Daniel stays for dinner?" He paused and looked to Daniel. "That is, if you want to."

"Yeah, that's fine," Tara said.

"I'd like that," Daniel whispered to Brent. He smiled shyly at Brent.

Tara nodded and left them alone.

***************

Tara prepared the table and Brent sat down in his usually spot as Daniel sat in his father's seat. When Tara re-entered the dinning area she froze when she saw Daniel.

Friendly and calmly she asked,"Daniel, could you take the seat next to that one?"

"Sure." Daniel pushed the chair back and moved to the next one.

Tara sat in her chair and and smiled warmly at Brent and Daniel. She said grace and Daniel thanked her for the meal. She was a wonderful cook and Daniel tried not to scarf it all down in one bite. They ate silently at first, until Tara shifted and focused her attention on Daniel.

"So, Daniel. Your mother or father aren't expecting you?"

Daniel wiped the corner of his mouth and swallowed. "My mom's at work."

"And your father?" She asked.

Brent looked to Daniel, but Daniel kept eye contact with Tara and said,"He's gone, Mrs. Abbott."

She frowned and set her fork down. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have asked--"

"It's okay," Daniel smiled weakly. "I'm dealing with it."

Brent played idly with his mashed potatoes and thought of his dad.

"What was his name?"

"Eric," Daniel said absently,"Eric Matthews."

She paused, the name ringing a few bells and she needed to be careful as to not offend Daniel. "Such a tragedy what happened to him and his unit.," she said remorsefully. "My Harold, Brent's father. We lost him. We know exactly what you're going through, Daniel."

Tara reached out a placed a hand on Daniel's. She looked over at Brent and tried to smile, but her eyes were glassy and tearing up. Daniel clenched his jaw and looked to his food. They all sat in silence in respect for the dead.

"Now, who wants some dessert?" Tara said hopefully and Brent and Daniel's face lightened up a bit. 

She came back with two bowls of mint chocolate chip ice cream and watched them contently. It felt like she had two sons and she was oddly happy by Daniel's presence.

**************

"Your mom is great," Daniel beamed as they listened to music.

A few days passed and Daniel and Brent started hanging out more. But always at Brent's place. They were in Brent's room. Laughing, telling eachother stories and jokes; trying to forget about old ghosts.

"Thanks," Brent smiled back.

Brent found out a great deal about Daniel. That he was always getting into trouble, but that he was starting to wise up. Daniel knew how to play the guitar, but wasn't in a band and he loved baseball. He told Brent about him and his father's strained relationship, but even through everything they found a way to bond and have a good time once in a while.

Daniel told him all about his father. How he was a hard ass most of the time, but only because Daniel was a brat and how he was so wrapped up in his work and obsession with Jigsaw. But Daniel also told him about how much he loved and respected his father and how much he missed him.

"What about your father? What was he like?" Daniel asked. He was laid down on Brent's bed. He was on his stomach and his face was held up by his right hand.

Brent hesitated, not only by the question but by Daniel's body stretched out on his bed. They almost kissed and Brent was wondering if they were just going to forget about it.

"He was the best. I know everyone says that, but he really was." Brent hummed a small laugh. "He made my mom really happy. He loved us."

Daniel nodded and sat up. He patted the spot next to him and Brent obliged. Brent sat down and Daniel came up close to him and hugged him. Brent hugged back. He felt that this should be weird, but it wasn't. It felt right and normal, as normal as it could be.

They were getting closer eachtime Daniel came over and Tara was beginning to feel like Daniel's real mother. They still went to support groups together sometimes and sometimes even "went out". Their friendship was somewhat platonic. They didn't mind getting close and showing affection.

And it felt... It really felt like they were given a second chance to start over. They were given the opportunity to forget about their fathers and learn something new. Learn eachother. But Brent knew his feelings for Daniel were taking a different route and that scared Brent the most. More than Jigsaw or taking about his demons.

But he knew his new life was going to throw things at him and Brent made sure he'd be prepared.


End file.
